22 July, 2024
3.00 AM

The rhythmic chime of the clock struck one, two, three, four, and eventually fifty-nine, bringing K an unsettling sensation.
She woke up for the third time.

It was raining outside. K went out of her room.
It was Cimmerian as the Yuugure filtered through the darkness.

K spotted Ko staring outside the living room window.
With his four paws on the laundry machine, he sat there.

K asked, “What are you up to? Baby? I’m looking for you.”
Ko replied, “I’m watching the rain, maman. Don’t you see?”

“Since when did you start to like rain? Huh?”
“Did I say I enjoy rain? Poor Maman!”

“Oh! Don’t you? And you're still watching it, alone on a cold, gloomy lonesome night?
“Who said it was a lonely night for me? Maman”

"I was enjoying the quietness until that moment..."
“What moment? Baby?”

"When the rain started falling, the entire event started to produce a lot of noise."
"Had it begun to upset you?"

“I don’t know. My mind just couldn't fall asleep when something alive was making noise outside. I felt compelled to keep an eye on it and defend my turf in case it came in through the window to strike.”
“Aha! How did the investigation go? Did it try to invade your domain even for once?”

“You don’t understand.”
“What didn’t I understand?”

”It makes loud noises as it falls to the ground and then simply vanishes, or appears to vanish in the plain air. … “
“... vanishes? Like an imaginary being or a ghost that you enjoy playing with when you're elevated?"

“Oh! You don’t understand.”
“Well, please explain it to me, baby.”

“This time, it wasn't an imaginary being or ghost, maman. This rain is real. I watched it carefully as it shifted patterns before disappearing completely in the thin air. And, I found … “
“What?”

“It didn’t disappear in the thin air, maman. There’s this law of physics.”
“And, now you’re studying science?”

“Stop taunting me with your sarcasm. Will you? Please?”
“Umm. Continue”

“I discovered that the raindrops fell on the earth with their screams since they were falling from an incredible height, allowing me to feel their agony when they hit the ground. When it strikes the ground, it breaks into small fragments having been melted, as opposed to solid shattered pieces, and these freshly transformed tiny fragments integrate with the surroundings, turning relatively innocuous and less obnoxious.”
“I see. So the rain ceases to exist once it makes contact with the ground? Would you call it death?"

“I don't know what death is, maman. It’s simply a transformation. Don't you get what I just said?”
“Transformation!?” : )

“Indeed. It just changes its shapes, forms, structures, inner perceptions, fear, and sense of being to become a part of beyond phenomena. For rain, that beyond phenomenon can be ordinary moist terrain or the damp soil of a growing plant or a tree, or ebbing river waves that lost their origin or destination, the abandoned junk as a broken plant pot hiding behind the vibrant flower patio left unreported for years or, yet to be spotted in the far future, … Isn’t it beautiful? Maman?”
“Oh Yes! It's as beautiful as you are.”

: )

​
“U K Y I O”

 

​

28 September, 2024

3.10 AM​​

​

“Wake Up! Wake Up!”

​

Her eyes opened up. Something was kneading on her breast.

Was it the jellyfish that tried to penetrate her some time ago?

​

She couldn't see; everything was a dark-shaded palette, yet she felt underwater. She felt weightless yet heavy, with sharp spikes pressing, scratching, and squeezing on her.

The silhouette was changing, so she wasn't sure if it was a jellyfish or an octopus trying to gel with her in another part of this strange liquid orb. 

​

“Wake Up! Wake Up”

 

K opened her eyes again. She wasn't sure if it was her little monster talking, or the creatures from the nightmare.

​

The little monster was deliciously bitter yet addictive, darker yet seductive. Its mystifying set of eyes fashioned as a reflector full of absurdities was what K had been hunting for indefinitely. 

​

The first time K saw this reflection, she wasn't sure if she'd ever seen it before, she wasn't even sure the reflection existed, but she felt losing it. 

 

“How could you miss something that never existed?”

Or, was it there? But, K failed to notice & accept its presence.

 

A world full of bizarre entities appeared & disappeared on a timeless plane and K kept passing between reflections and projections.

As the plane screamed out in orgasm, the memories altered size, shape, and volume, being infused with the resonance of cosmic intercourses.

 

And, when those reflections disappeared, memory lost its previous forms too, yet it remained aware and invisible. But, there was no entity, just the children of Morpheus & Proteus and their descendants.

​

The reflection spotted in the little monster's eyes was so profound and fascinating, that K couldn't help but offer up her decomposed spirit for one last time to be entangled.

 

While passing between the worlds from Unbearable lightness to the burden of existence, K engulfed herself with that monster to breathe in its stomach and keep it running to carry her into its senses so it could feed on her inertia while remaining hidden & immobile. 

 

“Wake Up! Maman! Play with me”

“Wake Up! Feed me with your soul”

 

What was in those eyes, K wondered.

K looked at those eyes, what was there?

 

“Is this Ko or K herself?”

 

It was quite dark. Even though the curtains were closed and the windows were open, the silhouettes formed on the walls, one big entity rather than several intangible ones.

​

In her desire to embrace it all, K wants to be free of the quantized reflections & subliminal recollections that burden her as a shapeshifter.

It's impossible to resist pressing Ko tightly against her skin while looking at the silhouette because her desire for it is so intense.

 

“Stop Maman! You’re suffocating me!”

 

K came to her senses and woke up finally.

At 3.25 AM, the clock strikes & Ko is patrolling his domain as part of his regular schedule.

 

After she severely upset him, he abandoned her body.

​

In the meantime, the little monster was standing on his two paws and watching outside the windows as other creatures and monsters came to join him in an absurd game.

 

K looked at the other two paws and a pointy set of ears raising the curtain to see as if he was wearing nightgoggles. You may miss K's seated body and Ko's Mongoose-like contour if you only look at their night goggles.

 

K whispered, “Didn't you just put another bright and dark layer to my existential imprint?”

At K's call, Ko behaved in his usual cute sociopathic way.

 

K had also learned to replicate Ko's adorable disinterest with the same psychopathic twist.

K, like the clock, did not wait, grabbing the mongoose with her naked arms and pushing it closely against her heart.

 

“Thank you, my little monster, for one more annular ring of absurd colors and exuberance in your essence.” 

 

K began to breathe in the scent of Ko as he closed his eyes on her lap.

 

"S A M S A R A"